I thought I’d better blog some of my own personal feelings about the cancellation of the race today.

My fury about the politics that has led to this situation is best expressed elsewhere, and there’s no need for me to re-record the outpourings of the other 399 competitors, most of them are happily getting on with this on the forum.

I tried to explain to my five year old daughter this morning why one race being cancelled was such a big deal. The only thing I could equate it to was the loss of Christmas for a year. The anticipation, the preparation, the sheer child-like obsession and wanting. The talking about it afterwards.

Whatever the reasoning or explanation, I feel like the year has just lost its focus now. The National Trophy races start in early October, and rather than looking forward to fine-tuning my form after the three peaks, I can’t be arsed to touch my bike. I feel like I’ve been travelling on a long road to an important destination, to find it not there. Utterly empty and very sad.

I’ve looked for silver linings, none are there just now. I’ll have to see what next September’s Christmas brings.